turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
