my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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