I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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