I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
