you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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