took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
