Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
