I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
