Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
no you cant smoke seaweed
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
