He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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