batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
