Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
