It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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