he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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