Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just had sex on a roof
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
