As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
