which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
