I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
