I'm going to jail i love you
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
NoShamevember. You game?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
