Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
only you would photoshop your dick
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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