I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
