Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
