when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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