I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
