...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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