Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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