apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
