i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
