no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
