I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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