i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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