Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
