I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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