I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I enjoy the company of your penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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