I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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