Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
