If i come over, it means nothing
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
