If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
