guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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