we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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