So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
well you can't waste a boner
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He did a backflip because drugs
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
