mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
