so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
