He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
