too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
