Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
