That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
