hell yes lets make some ravioli
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
