Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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