just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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