Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
