there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you are never too drunk for berry picking
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
