i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
