dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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