sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
