I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
