If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
