The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
