haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
